Do You Like Teeth? is the sixth episode of Season 3 of The Magicians. It is also the thirty-second episode overall.


Quentin faces his most formidable foe yet; Julia helps Alice with a dangerous endeavor.



At Whitespire, the Stone Queen has noticed Tick Pickwick taking scrapings of the stone that fairies are allergic to, and she and Margo admit they are both plotting against the Fairy Queen. The marriage between Margo and Prince Fomar still hasn't been consummated, and the Stone Queen is under pressure, so she contrives to lock them both in the dungeon until they get it done.

The Fairy Queen also tells Eliot to get the marriage consummated, or she'll take bits from him too.

Outside the dungeon, Eliot meets with Quentin, who has been hiding out disguised as a palace guard (so the Fairy Queen doesn't notice another King around). They check the Quest book, which says the Fourth Key is on some island in a land of unending night. They agree that Quentin will take the Muntjac there, and Benedict Pickwick will come along. (They are clearly still feeling the togetherness they developed in their life together doing the mosaic.)

Eliot insists to the Fairy Queen that humans don't mate in captivity, so Margo and Prince Fomar need a honeymoon away from Whitespire. He recommends a forest in the north which has natural aphrodisiacs. The Fairy Queen says to go ahead.

Eliot, Margo, and Prince Fomar are in a carriage, and Eliot gives them both wine; Prince Fomar's wine is drugged and he falls asleep. Eliot says there has been a fairy problem up on the north orchards where we are, the fairies moved in weeks ago and evacuated all the villagers, he suspects the fairies are poisoning the ecosystem. He and Margo get out, and find the orchards are gone, replaced with vast fields of mushrooms.

Eliot thinks that what the fairies are doing is really terraforming, changing the climate into the steam bath that fairies like. Margo notices one red mushroom move a bit, plucks it, and discovers that each mushroom is just the top of a big egg, with a fairy embryo inside. Eliot rants about how the fairies are growing an army, and Margo grabs and plucks as many as she can get into her arms, as kidnapping, or hostages, she doesn't know what for, but they'll take some.

Back in the carriage, with the eggs hidden, Margo picks up a toad to do something with Prince Fomar, saying "toads have fangs." Moments later, Prince Fomar is awake and complaining that "something bit my manhood", at which Eliot says "congratulations, you just had sex".

Alice and Julia

At the Cottage, Julia and Alice cobble together a gizmo of junk, metal bits, and wires: a spell reverse-engineered from something Marina did to transfer magic from one person to another. As they try it first, one of the bits of junk they have lying around (a rubber fish that plays a song) starts flapping around and singing: It's Penny, he has enough ability to "be the button" that makes the fish play. Julia uses the Truth Key to see him; Penny says he's seen other magic-starved people using that spell, and they all die.

They consult Dean Fogg, who is surprised that Julia has had magic and hasn't told him. They remarks he is usually drunk and unreliable these days. He remembers that transfer spell: it's one of his, and Marina stole it, and what it really needs to work safely is the flesh of a magical creature to act as a semiconductor. He sends them to an incubus.

Alice and Julia visit the incubus, who is a hedge fund manager in New York. They say Dean Fogg recommended that they borrow his penis for the spell, and he laughs: he told Fogg years ago the idea that he had a magic penis, just as a joke. What he really has is a desire for energy, and stress is his best way to drain someone's energy. He senses the stress energy coming off of the two, and (reaching behind him to wrench something off) offers them his tail (he regrows it every Spring anyway) in exchange for some of their stress.

With the incubus tail in their gizmo, Alice and Julia start the spell. It seems to work. Alice practices her spell, turning a glob of glass into a horse: it works. She goes to Dean Fogg and re-enchants the glasses he uses to see with, and he advises her to be careful.

As Julia is packing to leave, Penny signals (through the fish toy), and says he's leaving, he can't stand being a ghost person in his own life. Julia is also leaving, she'll try to find a life without a god. Alice comes in, and talks with Penny, and offers: "why don't I make you a new body?"

In a park, Julia is reading a book, turns, and Reynard is there, saying that he's not gone. He fades out, and she wakes up: he's not there.

At the Cottage, Alice is waving her hands over bones, practicing bone knitting. Penny (unheard) is nearby, and is glad she cares. Alice stumbles, seems troubled, then collapses onto the floor.


On the Muntjac, Quentin and Benedict enter the Abyss, a region of permanent night, and rescue a young woman adrift on a raft: Poppy Kline, draconologist and post-graduate fellow from Brakebills.

She had come to Fillory with the other students of the class of 2016, and they all came to bad ends one way or another. Quentin says he's on a Quest for golden keys, and Poppy shows him: she has it. Her group had checked out an island that was a dragon breeding ground, covered in treasure, so they took stuff, and she took this key. She gives it to Quentin. He asks what it does, and she says she doesn't know. (But she is looking suspiciously pleased for him to take it.)

Quentin wakes, holding the key, and is surprised to see another Quentin sitting there, watching him. The other Quentin proceeds to insult and demean Quentin, constantly, and only Quentin can see him, the sailors on the Muntjac see and hear nothing.

Poppy explains that the key takes the darkest parts of the person carrying it and makes sort of a depression monster, it can't hurt anyone, but it never stops running you down; in her group, they passed it among them, and about half the people committed suicide. Poppy says that should not be a problem for Quentin, as she's sure Quentin is confident, stable, and able to handle it. Quentin knows she is very wrong.

Unable to tolerate the constant taunts of his "other", Quentin prepares to jump from the Muntjac. Below him in the water he sees the glowing eyes of a dragon. Benedict pulls him back, and says he has been suicidal in the past as well; he says when sailors go mad they tie them to the mast. Quentin says do that, tie me to the mast, and don't let me free until we get back to Whitespire, even if I ask.

With Quentin tied to the mast, Poppy offers to take the key for a while. Quentin refuses, he doesn't want to lose any of the keys, as they open keyholes to other places that they need. Poppy is excited to learn of keyholes and portals, since she's been stuck in Fillory all this time; she searches him, grabs the key, and runs.

Quentin asks Benedict to untie him, but he won't, but he does chase through the ship to find Poppy, where a keyhole has indeed opened on a door and she has created the portal. They struggle, and he gets the key.

Benedict reports to Quentin, but Benedict is holding the key and looks horrified. Quentin understands, and tells Benedict not to do whatever "it" is telling him to to, but Benedict jumps into the water. We immediately see a dragon chewing him up.

Poppy complains to Quentin about Benedict knocking her out. Quentin says the key is gone, the dragon likely shits the key to the bottom of the ocean. Poppy explains that dragons don't shit, they are gatekeepers, what the ingest goes "elsewhere", like a portal. Quentin realizes: the key went to the Underworld.



Guest Starring

Special Guest Star